New Marriage Readiness Quiz

Forget dating websites with 'scientific' questionnaires and formulas that supposedly match you with the best partner.  I have carefully compiled a list of key questions to ask about a prospective spouse based on my extensive experience (I am married!  I know married people!).

As anyone who is married for any length of time knows, dating is at best an approximate way to get to know someone.  Dating is a process in which my representative/best self meets your representative/best self for various pleasant activities.  Hardly the best way to know how a person would react under the stress of, say, a cat dying in the crawlspace over the bedroom (although the examples in this blog may seem singularly graphic and/or unusual,  I hereby disclaim any specific knowledge of said situations.  Any resemblance to any particular marriage or spouse is strictly coincidental).

While the person you are dating is most likely putting forth his/her best self without an intent to deceive, the odds are still low that s/he would willingly share certain details.  Therefore, here is a list of questions that may help you see "back stage."  Forget old flames; their importance pales in comparison with these critical considerations:

*Does s/he exhibit signs of any kind of addiction, whether considered 'positive' or otherwise?  For example, does s/he happen to have an ex-racehorse, which acts as a virtual money pit?  Worse, does s/he show signs of wishing to acquire more?  (All right, I admit, my husband could justifiably complain that I clearly demonstrated horse addiction when we met.  Fortunately, the kids have since siphoned off most of that energy and money...)
*Does s/he still own clothes from high school?  Along these lines, when s/he purchases new clothing and shoes, is s/he able to donate older items? (This may sound trivial, but the answer to this one question indicates whether you will eventually be able to get into the closet or even find the floor.)
*Finally, and most importantly, are you cuddle-compatible?  Do you comfort each other during times of stress?  When, for example, an uninsured person runs a red light and totals your truck with you in it ? Or, for example, you happen to spend ten years and thousands of dollars you don't really have making a documentary about historic African American schools (Under the Kudzu), but you have a crisis at the end and it seems you will never be able to finish, so you break down crying?  Does your prospective spouse hug you, or give you a buck-up-that's-such-a-first-world-problem speech?  The ability to hug your way through various crises is the best indicator I know that a marriage will thrive.