Happy What???

If you think this blog is funny, read Any Given Mom, Any Given Day    

Granted, I am dinosaur when it comes to social media-- I don't even use Facebook-- but occasionally I poke around on LinkedIn. This usually just results in me feeling inadequate when I realize how influential many of college classmates have become, however, lately I have noticed something else.  This phenomenon of being prompted to say "Happy Work Anniversary!" to someone who has achieved yet another year of the great American dream of earning a living.

No doubt the dates that help LinkedIn ascertain someone's work anniversary are pulled from one's online resume'.  Ah, the online resume', that font of accuracy.  When I was a manager of a medical practice, I recall reading a resume' entry by someone who noted that he multitasked while working in a restaurant, "arranging salads while servicing customers on floor."

As I was working for a veterinarian at the time, my mind went straight to the gutter:  Stallions service mares, however, waitpersons should simply serve customers.  If a waiter does somehow end up servicing a customer (and I don't even want to imagine more than one at a time, or how the salad is involved), surely he could find somewhere nicer than the floor???

The mind just boggles.

Anyway, to return to the new imperative, that of wishing others a happy work anniversary... so now we're supposed to congratulate each other on that.  Surely soon there will be a line of greeting cards (or more likely, e-cards that we can read instead of doing actual work).  Here are a few ideas for the cards:
      *Happy Work Anniversary! You survived another round of layoffs!
      *Happy Work Anniversary! Now get off LinkedIn, where everything you do boils down to dreaming about a new job...
      *Happy Work Anniversary!  If you hurry, there's some cake left in the breakroom from the party for the CEO who took an early buyout!