If you think this blog is funny, read Any Given Mom, Any Given Day
My favorite quote from Marianne Williamson (Return to Love) is: "Here we are, holy children of God, feeling inadequate." Except, when she says it, her accent reminds me of my hometown (NYC) because it comes out "Here we are, holy children of Gawd..."
One of the great things about getting older, I find, is that feelings of inadequacy only grip me every hour or two. (This is versus the way they would hit every ten minutes when I was younger.) What I value most is peace of mind. That is why I meditate and pray every morning, however, there are still plenty of moments when I forget that I am-- and everyone is-- a holy child of Gawd.
Here are a few of the prime opportunities I've had lately to claw my way back to centeredness:
"So you were assigned the WWII project three weeks ago, you didn't mention it to me or your dad, and then you told your teacher you were going to build a model of the first atomic bomb? REALLY??"
"You weren't paying attention, so you ran a red light and totaled my truck with me in it, and now I learn you don't have insurance? REALLY???"
"A fourth snow day? REALLY????"
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Happy What???
If you think this blog is funny, read Any Given Mom, Any Given Day
Granted, I am dinosaur when it comes to social media-- I don't even use Facebook-- but occasionally I poke around on LinkedIn. This usually just results in me feeling inadequate when I realize how influential many of college classmates have become, however, lately I have noticed something else. This phenomenon of being prompted to say "Happy Work Anniversary!" to someone who has achieved yet another year of the great American dream of earning a living.
No doubt the dates that help LinkedIn ascertain someone's work anniversary are pulled from one's online resume'. Ah, the online resume', that font of accuracy. When I was a manager of a medical practice, I recall reading a resume' entry by someone who noted that he multitasked while working in a restaurant, "arranging salads while servicing customers on floor."
As I was working for a veterinarian at the time, my mind went straight to the gutter: Stallions service mares, however, waitpersons should simply serve customers. If a waiter does somehow end up servicing a customer (and I don't even want to imagine more than one at a time, or how the salad is involved), surely he could find somewhere nicer than the floor???
The mind just boggles.
Anyway, to return to the new imperative, that of wishing others a happy work anniversary... so now we're supposed to congratulate each other on that. Surely soon there will be a line of greeting cards (or more likely, e-cards that we can read instead of doing actual work). Here are a few ideas for the cards:
*Happy Work Anniversary! You survived another round of layoffs!
*Happy Work Anniversary! Now get off LinkedIn, where everything you do boils down to dreaming about a new job...
*Happy Work Anniversary! If you hurry, there's some cake left in the breakroom from the party for the CEO who took an early buyout!
Friday, January 3, 2014
New Marriage Readiness Quiz
Forget dating websites with 'scientific' questionnaires and formulas that supposedly match you with the best partner. I have carefully compiled a list of key questions to ask about a prospective spouse based on my extensive experience (I am married! I know married people!).
As anyone who is married for any length of time knows, dating is at best an approximate way to get to know someone. Dating is a process in which my representative/best self meets your representative/best self for various pleasant activities. Hardly the best way to know how a person would react under the stress of, say, a cat dying in the crawlspace over the bedroom (although the examples in this blog may seem singularly graphic and/or unusual, I hereby disclaim any specific knowledge of said situations. Any resemblance to any particular marriage or spouse is strictly coincidental).
While the person you are dating is most likely putting forth his/her best self without an intent to deceive, the odds are still low that s/he would willingly share certain details. Therefore, here is a list of questions that may help you see "back stage." Forget old flames; their importance pales in comparison with these critical considerations:
*Does s/he exhibit signs of any kind of addiction, whether considered 'positive' or otherwise? For example, does s/he happen to have an ex-racehorse, which acts as a virtual money pit? Worse, does s/he show signs of wishing to acquire more? (All right, I admit, my husband could justifiably complain that I clearly demonstrated horse addiction when we met. Fortunately, the kids have since siphoned off most of that energy and money...)
*Does s/he still own clothes from high school? Along these lines, when s/he purchases new clothing and shoes, is s/he able to donate older items? (This may sound trivial, but the answer to this one question indicates whether you will eventually be able to get into the closet or even find the floor.)
*Finally, and most importantly, are you cuddle-compatible? Do you comfort each other during times of stress? When, for example, an uninsured person runs a red light and totals your truck with you in it ? Or, for example, you happen to spend ten years and thousands of dollars you don't really have making a documentary about historic African American schools (Under the Kudzu), but you have a crisis at the end and it seems you will never be able to finish, so you break down crying? Does your prospective spouse hug you, or give you a buck-up-that's-such-a-first-world-problem speech? The ability to hug your way through various crises is the best indicator I know that a marriage will thrive.
As anyone who is married for any length of time knows, dating is at best an approximate way to get to know someone. Dating is a process in which my representative/best self meets your representative/best self for various pleasant activities. Hardly the best way to know how a person would react under the stress of, say, a cat dying in the crawlspace over the bedroom (although the examples in this blog may seem singularly graphic and/or unusual, I hereby disclaim any specific knowledge of said situations. Any resemblance to any particular marriage or spouse is strictly coincidental).
While the person you are dating is most likely putting forth his/her best self without an intent to deceive, the odds are still low that s/he would willingly share certain details. Therefore, here is a list of questions that may help you see "back stage." Forget old flames; their importance pales in comparison with these critical considerations:
*Does s/he exhibit signs of any kind of addiction, whether considered 'positive' or otherwise? For example, does s/he happen to have an ex-racehorse, which acts as a virtual money pit? Worse, does s/he show signs of wishing to acquire more? (All right, I admit, my husband could justifiably complain that I clearly demonstrated horse addiction when we met. Fortunately, the kids have since siphoned off most of that energy and money...)
*Does s/he still own clothes from high school? Along these lines, when s/he purchases new clothing and shoes, is s/he able to donate older items? (This may sound trivial, but the answer to this one question indicates whether you will eventually be able to get into the closet or even find the floor.)
*Finally, and most importantly, are you cuddle-compatible? Do you comfort each other during times of stress? When, for example, an uninsured person runs a red light and totals your truck with you in it ? Or, for example, you happen to spend ten years and thousands of dollars you don't really have making a documentary about historic African American schools (Under the Kudzu), but you have a crisis at the end and it seems you will never be able to finish, so you break down crying? Does your prospective spouse hug you, or give you a buck-up-that's-such-a-first-world-problem speech? The ability to hug your way through various crises is the best indicator I know that a marriage will thrive.
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