If you think this blog is funny, read Any Given Mom, Any Given Day
Gathering at my middle sister's home for the holidays, my eldest sister raises a question that never occurred to me before: Do cars go through menopause? She owns a 10 year Hyundai Santa Fe that she swears is going through menopause. An air conditioning malfunction generates some powerful hot flashes for passengers. Acceleration is inconsistent, best described as "pokey." Cosmetically, it is in a nether region: Not the worst, but has seen better days. Needs detailing but hardly seems worth the bother.
What I wonder is, what happens to the car on the other side of menopause? Does it up and leave for France with little more than its passport in the glove compartment, looking for the automotive equivalent of Eat, Pray, Love ? Does is crash into the front of health food stores in a desperate bid for Black Cohash? Go back to school for Art History?
Or perhaps that is the driver of the car?
Monday, December 23, 2013
Friday, December 13, 2013
First World Problems
My husband laughs at my self-styled "bifocals" (which consist of me wearing my regular glasses AND a pair of drug store reading glasses), but the truth is I just haven't had time to get to the eye doctor. Here is some of the first-world drama that has eaten up my time:
Last month a young woman driving without insurance blew through a red light and totaled my truck. So, in the blink of an eye, I was transformed from a teacher looking forward to her week to a patient who was also in need of a new vehicle.
Then, with breathtaking boldness, my insurance adjuster lied to me and told me I did not have bodily injury coverage for uninsured motorist accidents. In a way, though, she did me a favor. This outrageous lie made me see I needed an attorney TO HELP ME WITH MY OWN INSURANCE COMPANY!!!
Getting an attorney eased the stress of the claim, but I'm still staggering around with terrible headaches. I have moved on from the regular doctors to the chiropractor, who IS helping me, although the adjustments are so strong sometimes they scare me...
Meanwhile, my younger son has been in angst for weeks over what to make for his secret Santa person. His teacher decreed that this gift could not be store bought, I'm sure to 'help' us parents. So now instead of buying some cute little trinket for a few dollars, I get to hold his hand while he agonizes over the fact that he can't make her a cupcake because she has intolerances to various foods.
Keeping in mind that all of this is minor compared to having a typhoon wash through your village, my prayers always include these words: Lord, bless those who suffer, bless those who mourn. Bless parents everywhere, and help them to care for their children. Hold all of our children in the palm of Your hand. Amen.
Last month a young woman driving without insurance blew through a red light and totaled my truck. So, in the blink of an eye, I was transformed from a teacher looking forward to her week to a patient who was also in need of a new vehicle.
Then, with breathtaking boldness, my insurance adjuster lied to me and told me I did not have bodily injury coverage for uninsured motorist accidents. In a way, though, she did me a favor. This outrageous lie made me see I needed an attorney TO HELP ME WITH MY OWN INSURANCE COMPANY!!!
Getting an attorney eased the stress of the claim, but I'm still staggering around with terrible headaches. I have moved on from the regular doctors to the chiropractor, who IS helping me, although the adjustments are so strong sometimes they scare me...
Meanwhile, my younger son has been in angst for weeks over what to make for his secret Santa person. His teacher decreed that this gift could not be store bought, I'm sure to 'help' us parents. So now instead of buying some cute little trinket for a few dollars, I get to hold his hand while he agonizes over the fact that he can't make her a cupcake because she has intolerances to various foods.
Keeping in mind that all of this is minor compared to having a typhoon wash through your village, my prayers always include these words: Lord, bless those who suffer, bless those who mourn. Bless parents everywhere, and help them to care for their children. Hold all of our children in the palm of Your hand. Amen.
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