Please Stop Helping Me

Have you ever had experiences that left you wishing you had a little less help?  I was thinking about this the other day as I tried to navigate yet another new software program that I am required to use in my teaching job.  I have lost count of the number of user names and passwords I have for work; I have programs for communication, a program for IEP records, accounts for accessing online teaching resources, a half dozen programs for testing/assessment, and a wiki that tells me how to log onto online modules about the Common Core.  A fuse blew in my brain today when I got an email informing me I needed to use one account to register for an online training about a wiki that teaches us how to utilize yet another new program... at that point the line started blurring between process and goal.

All of these programs are supposed to help me in my work, but just let me share for a moment that I work in a middle school BECAUSE I LIKE TO TEACH.   Despite the fact that I have made one documentary film (about historic African American schools, see www.underthekudzu.org) and I am working on another, in actuality I am not a very technically oriented person.  In fact, one anxiety I have is that in another ten years or so I'll be unable to communicate with anyone anymore, because the technology will have gotten completely away from me.   Then I'll spend my twilight years just sitting in a corner, starting into space.

Another instance of this is something that happened with AT&T (I am old enough to remember when we used to call it "Ma Bell").  I still have a landline, but it's supposed to be a bare bones, local calling account only.  I use my cell phone for long distance.

Anyhow, one weekend when my sister was visiting she used the landline to call my other sister in Ohio.  It was an innocent mistake, she didn't know my phone service arrangements, so I didn't mind having to pay the extra $5 or so for that call.  What I didn't realize is that Ma Bell (Big Brother Bell seems more apropos) would automatically add a long distance plan to my bill.  After two months I caught on to what they were doing and called them.  After twenty minutes on hold the rep informed me that they were "helping" me by responding to my obvious desire to use my landline for long distance (this decision was based on one long distance call in two years, mind you).  PLEASE STOP HELPING ME!!!

The last thing that comes to mind is health-related.  I have gut troubles that come and go, and I have been to the GI doctor a few times.  This time, though, I don't think I'll go.  Both times that I went to the GI specialist it went something like this:  Lot of questions, painful test, and, they discovered I have "collagenous colitis."  That means "Your guts are inflamed, but we don't really know why.  Would you like a prescription for something that may or may not send you into kidney failure?  That will be $360, please."  PLEASE STOP HELPING ME!!  I could have told you my guts were inflamed going into this deal.

But, you know, Katie Couric's warnings and all, had to check it out.  Now I'm just going to go back to acupuncturist who really DID help me, without the risk of kidney failure...