Hurtful Questions

My husband just said this to my younger son:  "Isn't your time on the computer up yet?"

"That is a hurtful question!" Jack responded.  (Meanwhile, the kitchen timer started beeping...)

This made me laugh, but it also made me think about other times when hurtful questions arise.   Specifically, one hurtful question:  ARE YOU HIGH????  I'm a pretty easygoing person, but here is one instance when this particular hurtful question came to my mind.

One morning, I thought I was doing a good job of multitasking.  It was a little before 7am, I was packing my sons' lunches, and I thought I would just take a moment to RSVP to one of those electronic invitations for a birthday party.  I thought it would be so easy.  I patted myself on the back for being efficient.  After opening the invitation, I thought I could just click a simple "Yes" and go on about the morning routine.  However, it really wasn't that easy.  I clicked "Yes", but before it would allow me to submit that answer all kinds of other questions popped up.

Did I want to send  a picture?  No.  A comment?  No.  View the guest list?  No.  Chat with the other guests? No.  Then came the kicker:  An advertisement popped up that asked me whether I wanted to follow a certain brand of fish sticks on Twitter.   My entire morning ground to a halt because I had to stop and ponder how empty my life would have to be, for me to follow the fish sticks on Twitter.   ARE YOU HIGH????

What do the fish sticks have to say, anyway?  I could only imagine it would be depressing, something like this:  "Swimming along today, minding my own business, when I got caught up in a gill net.  I was hauled over the side of a factory boat, beheaded, scaled, gutted, pressed into paste and frozen.  When we reached land they sliced me into a stick shape, breaded me and sent out to a big box store.  Once someone purchased me, I hoped for some appreciation, but I ended up on the tray of a toddler.  When the mom wasn't looking, the toddler tossed me over his shoulder.  Their cat swallowed me in two bites, but yakked me up later into the mom's purse."

Other hurtful questions at our house include:

Quinoia again?

Isn't that the puppy you had to have, that you said you would walk?

Why aren't you in bed yet?

Why aren't you up yet?

But where did all the money go????