A Professional WHAT????

Read the ebook Any Given Mom, Any Given Day for just 0.99 (free for Kindle Select members)!   In which eternal questions are answered, such as, what is a surefire cure for a baby who is constipated?  Why does your husband think watching the "Kill Bill" marathon is a good bonding activity?  Is it possible to drive well when dirty socks are whizzing past your head?  Click to find out!!


In the category of "now I feel REALLY inadequate," I just read an article that said the new trend for well-to-do families is to have a professional organizer for the kids as they go back to school.  Putting aside for a moment the typical teacher's reaction on learning of any new career choice: "Hey, maybe I could do that!"--and this applies to, well, just about anything. Not that teachers are so unhappy, exactly, but moments such as this one (that happened last year) do make me wonder sometimes about life outside of school... I was trying to use the latest educational software (my district insists on replacing software as soon as we get proficient with it), only to look up and realize that one of my special needs students had just cut all the laces off her new shoes.  

Heck, I almost applied for the new program in Mechatronics at the community college.  What do they do in Mechatronics?  I don't really know, but the 22-year-olds who are getting this training will make more than I do with their Associate's degree than I do with my Master's.

However, I digress.  We were discussing the dawn of a new career track, that of professional school organizer, which is somehow linked in my mind with the professional delouser. That's right, if you cannot deal with combing nits out of your child's hair, now (in major cities) you can hire a lice expert who will take over.  Think of the bonding time one misses that way, though.  You could talk with your child about "Student zero" (the kid who is suspected to have started the lice outbreak), and how that same kid stole the one piece of Halloween candy you put in your child's lunch (Ow!), and how gym was fun today (Ow! Mom! Be more gentle), and whether lice are an appropriate topic for the upcoming science project (Mom!  I mean it!  You're hurting me!).

Which brings us to the crux of the matter, which is, is it really a good thing to be relieved of the joyful suffering of the back to school ritual?  I mean, aren't valuable lessons learned in Target when you debate with your 11-year-old about the value of a rolling backpack?  Won't you miss the scavenger hunt of trying to find all six of the different colored folders that the teacher (who, perhaps not coincidentally, is young and childless) wants for her envisioned "simple" organization system?  What about the excitement of helping your child create labels for the dividers, pack the supplies for the first time, write his name in Sharpie on the new Pokemon lunch bag?

Not to get all preachy, but the divine mercy chaplet reminds us that faith without works is dead.  I feel a bit the same about parenting without wanting to do the slightly stressful/difficult things.  Isn't that what it's about? Teaching your kids by guiding through things?  Sharing the moment of triumph when everything is ready? The professional can probably do it more efficiently, perhaps even do it better, but s/he doesn't love your kid.  Only you will do it with love.